|
twistedfate119
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: *monica*(moni)
Country: United States
State: New Jersey
Birthday: 3/29/1989
Gender: Female
Interests: like i said im lost in nothingness,nothing makes me happy,nothing makes me sad...i feel no pain,i have no grief...insanity is my only means of relaxization...come save me from my pale reality of nothingness...*
Expertise: not being quiet..but plotting....being there when needed,and being known as the one who is lost...*
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
Yahoo:  xxxbondage420
AIM:  depressedheart7
AIM:  beautifulpsychoX
AIM:  twistedfate611
Member Since:
3/8/2004
|
|
| well..i know ur all gonna hate me,but i made a new xanga..im tired of ppl talking to me on this one..and it has too many memories..so u get the sexy bunnies one..its really sexy...lol,.i just gotta make it all pretty like this one,no more slipknot,or dope or ne thing...but its ok ill make it better! | | |
| well...this week was very interesting..i met this kid will...he was soo adoriable,we hung out for 3 or 4 days in a row...i had the most fun that ive ever had without doing drugs or any thing..it was great!...he left to go home this morning,so i didnt get to see him today..but anyway..yesterday me,will and jay took the bus to atlantic city..boy was that fun...we met this black guy on the bus,and he tryed to pimp me out,and he was saying he was gonna slap me if i didnt get away from will and jay..then we lost him and picked up some bum..lol..he baaught us alchol..we wnet under teh bw and drank..then jay and him left,and almost got shot..lol..then we took the bus homne,and we had to get out in somers point bc i had to pee..so my moms friend russ drove us home..me and jay took my bro out,then when we came home my doors were locked so i kicked in the window screen,and jay pulled the screen door open...i walked in my house and my bro knocked on my moms door and she came out to hit him,and i threw her up against the wall,we faught..i trashed her car,,i trashed the house..i got arrested..i assulted a police officer..and resisted arrest..it was a pretty fucked up nite..but im home..my moms fine..my wrist is kinda sprained..and a few things hurt..but its bc i ran ito a brick wall..and faught the cops..lol..but anyway..im going to be going up to the bw shortly..ill update later | | |
| well...today i got up,got ready for school,and left to go to rachels house..i got half way there and realized that i forgot tims(mine now) hoody,so i ran back to get it and fell...then i went to school..i got in trouble in all of my classes except like 2...then i came home..my moms was being a bitch,i checked the caller id thinger and saw that tim called..that made the day a tiny bit better...so i called him...the day got the worst...he has to go to court next thuresday...he said he thinks hes getting sent to harbor fields...this made me very sad...no tim for awhile after thuresday..hmm*tear*....i dont want him to go...i mean we've been hanging out for like over two months..even after paul and everything else..were still kool...its going to be soo weird with out him chillen with me...and all of us on the boardwalk...*sigh*but on a better note...hes comming down tomorrow...he's bringing some stuff...hehe..then friday im pretty sure me,him ,and bitchman*john* are getting E...hehe..i made tim say he'd try it...lol...so this should be fun...well im out..ill update with happier thingys later..kk..xoxoxo...a sexy bunny..lol..oh*hi muh sexy ferrit..lol | | |
| - swing,swing - - well..hmm...wat to say....this song is like my favorite song..it describes kinda how im feeling..im soo confused any more...i dont know who to believe..or trust...i dont even trust my-self,its getting bad...why am i feeling this way,i mean yeah i always knew i felt like this,but why did the feelings have to come back...i mean i thought paul was the "one"for the longest time..thie first time me and him went out,then i met someone different,someone who wasnt like the rest,someone who was very confusing,yet at the same time he made all the sence in the world to me...i let this persion go to go back to paul..yet again paul hurt me,and over,and over again i let him slowly kill my trust in people..i took him back reciently for one last try..i really shouldnt have....i realize this now..he was my first love,nobody ever wants to lose their first love,so i tryed to hold on,the hole time making myself believe i loved him...when deep inside it wasnt him i was in love with,it was someone very similare to him...but why do i still feel this way about you?it is the past..it should have stayed there..i have to stop my self from following my feelings this time..i did last time and time and time again...i was slowly being killed on the inside...what if these feelings led me to the same diasaster i just saved myself from...u are similar to him...wat if u are the same?what if u bring me down?what if i fall for u all over again,and you crush me like last time?what if...theres sooo many thoughts i have rite now..i wiSh theyed all just go away..why has my past come to haunt me yet once again..?uhg...i sware im gonna break,im writeing this on here bc i have nowhere else to put it..im not saying any of this to u,bc of obvious things..and certin people now involved..i just needed to get it out,nobody is to take any of this to heart...you have ur life now..and im trying to have mine..hopefully this venting will help..im sorry i feel this way,im sorry i felt this way the day in the car,im sorry i hurt you,im sorry i came back into ur life,b-cuz like you always said..were the same persion..and what i feel you feel,now i dont know if ur feeling all of this,but i am from ur past..dont let me haunt u,as u haunt me...forever never ends....xoxo~*moni*~ | | |
| - echo - well...today was kinda fun..i went back to school..then went to counsling after school..t'was ok..we went and ate and talked,then i came home and came online..i talked to craig..i talk to craig all the time..lol..tis not healthy..lol..rachel came over..we talked,and ate..we ate alot..lol...but then we came back online..i talked to craig some more..lol..then i went out to mow the lawn..yes i mowed the lawn..heh..i also almost broak the mower thinger..i ran over some rug and cot the threads all tangled in the blade thingy..lol..then we fixed that smoked a cig,and went to the boardwalk..we had ice cream..then meet up with bri..we smoked a few more cig's,talked and walked..rachel saw a skirt that she wanted..so my dumb ass stole it for her..lol..t'was soooo funny..but tis ok cuz moni is crazy like that..but rachy is happy now,and im ok...then i came home and came online...i talked to craig..and i continue to do that now..lol..then i talked to brady,but he had to get in the shower..so moni is just talking to craig now..oh* i chainged my AIM profile..tis weird..lol...umm..im really confused..i dont know...i really hate the past sometimes...yet i wish it wasnt the past at times...but wat can i do...i dont know...hmm...help if u can..i love u forever..it never ends..xoxoxo~*moni*~ | | |
|
|
